It was a painful day for me, a deep earthquake where I felt all my interior to break. As I was reading to prepare a project, a truth burst in my face and I finally had an explanation as to why, in spite of my diligent efforts, I was not able to manifest the life I dreamed of, why the course of things was not fluid.
Clac, something breaks and I hurt, very hurt. What breaks is me? no! it’s an armor so solid, so attached to me that I was one with it. It hurts because it has been stuck, compressed for so long, the release is painful.
The air flows over my skin for so long trapped under this armor. How long I’ve been wearing it, I don’t even know. It has been built up over the years without me even realizing it. This armor is the armor of the strong woman.
A strong woman is a woman who voluntarily or involuntarily, because life sometimes leads you into our entrenchments and on certain paths in an insidious way, settles with the mask of the strong woman. Over time, the mask becomes a breastplate that covers the whole body and it becomes an invisible prison. The strong woman is a woman who is apparently very sure of herself, she succeeds in everything she undertakes, she needs no one, she is not afraid of anything.
Indeed, from a very young age, I learned that I should not depend on anyone. My late grandfather used to say that I should not have to ask for “tanpi souplé”, that expressing one’s needs, especially for help and love, was a sign of weakness, that asking for attention and listening was useless. My mother didn’t care about her needs, what mattered to her was to ensure her daily material needs. As a result, I learned very quickly to manage on my own, to refuse to be helped, to never rest, to do everything.
Fortunately, on my life’s journey, I met some souls, including my best friend’s, who were able to nuance and bring some balance to this unbalanced and unbalanced learning; but this was not enough to deconstruct the pattern. I was already wearing the armor.
I’m the woman you can always count on, but too often when the opposite situation arose, I didn’t have the help you were looking for, so you strengthened your armor without realizing it. Because here I was afraid to miss. I had already lacked love all my childhood, left to myself, so in the other areas of my life, I made sure I didn’t lack anything. This fear was not present all the time, it reappeared in certain circumstances of life, sometimes in a violent way especially for the question of money.
Only when you are afraid, you cannot accomplish your life mission, so the Universe, your ancestors will do everything so that you find your way back even if it is in pain.
You have to get out of the Matrix to be You.
And then something clicked when I met my first mentor and I discovered Africa in a different light than the one presented to us by the media. It took time for me to learn, step by step, and by then I had reached a stage where I was aware of who I really was, of my possibilities as a co-creator of my life with the Universe. I learned to say no, to be my priority and to let go because the more we resist, the more we persist in exhausting ourselves.
From now on, I allow myself to be tired, to have doubts and I have enough confidence in myself and in my guides to let go of the bad periods by calmly asking my questions. I also understood that by being a strong woman all the time, I was no longer me, no longer a woman, because I was always in my masculine energy, instead of being in my feminine energy.
These two energies, like the electric current, circulate within us, and they must be in balance. This is not easy in a society that values masculine values such as fighting, competition … and in the absence of any other model of success.
… a powerful woman
I focused on myself energetically and became lunar again.
One of the first steps to reconnect to your feminine energy is to reconnect to your body, your cycles. I learned to listen to my body, my little inner voice, to silence my fears, to hear the voice of my guides. I worked to heal the wounds of my masculine energy, my feminine energy, I accepted my dark side. I have worked to bring my sacred masculine in harmony with my sacred feminine. Getting back into balance changes the game in our relationships with men. A strong woman attracts weak “feminine” men who only push her in her masculine energy, taking away her permission to be a woman. A feminine woman does not beg for love, does not have to prove anything to anyone. She is the queen and the king knows the value of such a woman. Moreover, energetically, from a certain age, a man is limited in his level of success if he does not have a feminine woman at his side. A feminine woman allows him to attract abundance and wealth. All great men are in a relationship!
I was a little long but today I am a happy and balanced woman, and I testify so that you too my sister can take the path of happiness.